Parents! Your child refusing to fall for the idea that Santa does everything he’s supposed to by “magic”? We thought we’d help out and provide some scifi explanations for Ol’ Saint Nick, just in case.

Let’s look beyond the whole “Living in the North Pole and having an army of elves to do his bidding” thing - After all, that part will always be cool, no matter what. The problem that today’s media-savvy younglings have with Father Christmas isn’t his product placement deal with Coke, but his modus operandi. You can prove, thanks to NORAD and the internet that Santa Claus exists and does all his deliveries in one night, but how can you explain his speedy deliveries? We’ve come up with five possibilities to try out on uninformed brains.

Teleportation
In a world where we’re told that small Japanese men can teleport across time and space just by blinking hard, why would it be so unusual to suggest that Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer isn’t a magical flying reindeer, but instead a superpowered teleporting one? It even sounds, uh, convincing-esque:

For many centuries, Christian writers accepted that Christmas was the actual date on which Jesus was born. However, in the early eighteenth century, some scholars began proposing alternative explanations. Isaac Newton argued that the date of Christmas was selected to correspond with the winter solstice, which in ancient times was marked on December 25.

In 1743, German Protestant Paul Ernst Jablonski argued Christmas was placed on December 25 to correspond with the Roman solar holiday Dies Natalis Solis Invicti and was therefore a “paganization” that debased the true church. In 1889, Louis Duchesne suggested that the date of Christmas was calculated as nine months after March 25, the traditional date of the conception of Jesus. In modern times, March 25 is celebrated as Annunciation.

Objective: Finally Rudolf’s revenge time has come. Throw Santa as high as possible and collect as many presents as you can.

Rudolf’s Revenge

The Walt Disney Company (NYSE: DIS) is one of the largest media and entertainment corporations in the world. Founded on October 16, 1923, by brothers Walt and Roy Disney as an animation studio, it has become one of the biggest Hollywood studios, and owner and licensor of eleven theme parks and several television networks, including ABC and ESPN. Disney’s corporate headquarters and primary production facilities are located at The Walt Disney Studios in Burbank, California. The company is a component of the Dow Jones Industrial Average.

The Walt Disney World Christmas Day Parade is an American television special that airs on Christmas Day on the ABC network. It is taped primarily inside the Magic Kingdom theme park at Walt Disney World Resort in Orlando, Florida, approximately one month prior to Christmas day. Past shows have included segments featuring other Disney theme parks in Orlando, Florida, Anaheim, California, and around the world. The program has aired annually since 1983, with the exception of 2000 when Disney aired a Christmas Eve “Tracking Santa” special instead. In 1999, a nighttime version of the parade was shown on Christmas Day. In the 1980s and ’90s, the program was known as The Walt Disney World Very Merry Christmas Parade.

The parade down Main Street, U.S.A. features appearances of Disney characters, including Mickey Mouse, Minnie Mouse, Goofy, Donald Duck, Pluto, and Chip ‘n Dale, as well as floats featuring celebrities, musical performances, marching bands from various schools and community groups across the USA, and highlights of events and properties at Disney theme parks and other Disney productions. Despite its now-traditional viewing status, the program could be considered to just be a giant advertising vehicle for The Walt Disney Company, being televised on a Disney-owned outlet, making the parade tradition a textbook example of fakelore.

Victorian decorative arts refers to the style of decorative arts during the Victorian era. The Victorian era is known for its eclectic revival and interpretation of historic styles and the introduction of cross-cultural influences from the middle east and Asia in furniture, fittings, and Interior decoration. The Arts and Crafts movement, the aesthetic movement, Anglo-Japanese style, and Art Nouveau style have their beginnings in the late Victorian era.

A depiction of the story of Santa Claus’ origin and early life can be seen in the animated television special “Santa Claus is Coming to Town” produced by Rankin/Bass Productions, Inc. in 1970. That story set Santa against the bitter Burgermeister Meisterburger who had banned all toys until Santa, anxious to deliver toys made by his adopted family, the Kringles, entered the town. This “outlaw” beginning was said to explain why Santa travels at night. Many other elements of the popular myths of Santa are given explanatory treatment in this stop action film.

By the end of the 20th century, the reality of mass mechanized production became more fully accepted by the Western public. That shift was reflected in the modern depiction of Santa’s residence—now often humorously portrayed as a fully mechanized production and distribution facility, equipped with the latest manufacturing technology, and overseen by the elves with Santa and Mrs. Claus as executives and/or managers. An excerpt from a 2004 article, from a supply chain managers’ trade magazine, aptly illustrates this depiction:

Merry/Happy Christmas

The greetings and farewells “Merry Christmas” and “Happy Christmas” are traditionally used in North America, the United Kingdom, and Ireland beginning a few weeks prior to the Christmas holiday on December 25 of every year.

The phrase is often preferred when it is known that the receiver is a Christian or celebrates Christmas. In the late 20th century, as Christians in increasingly multi-cultural societies continue becoming more sensitive to and respectful of non-Christians and non-Christian faiths, the phrase has become somewhat less ubiquitous than it was in the rest of 20th century.

Wallpaper is a kind of material used to cover and decorate the interior walls of homes, offices, and other buildings; it is one aspect of interior decoration. They are usually sold in rolls and are put onto a wall using wallpaper paste. Wallpapers can come either plain (so that it can be painted), or with patterned graphics.

Wallpaper printing techniques include surface printing, gravure printing, silk screen-printing, and rotary printing. Mathematically speaking, there are seventeen basic patterns, described as wallpaper groups, that can be used to tile an infinite plane. All manufactured wallpaper patterns are based on these groups. A single pattern can be issued in several different colorways.

Christmas (IPA: /krɪsməs/), also referred to as Christmas Day or Christmastide, is an annual holiday celebrated on December 25 that marks and honors the birth of Jesus of Nazareth. The birth of Jesus, which is the basis for the anno Domini system of dating, is thought to have occurred between 7 and 2 BC. December 25 is not thought to be Jesus’ actual date of birth, and the date may have been chosen to correspond with either a Roman festival, or with the winter solstice.